Feeling Happy
Today feels different. It’s a release day for my new song, a remix of Half Life with Green Ring. I’ve been through a lot of release days, but this one feels somehow lighter. Like ease. Or expecting a wonderful surprise. Or contentment. Or like I’m not pushing a boulder up a hill. To be honest, I haven’t had a lot of those days lately. Things have been hard on my heart. I've felt stuck and stagnant, despite fighting so hard for things to change. Like I'm running so hard but someone is holding a hand on my forehead. Or like chasing a carrot on a string while I'm on treadmill, like you see in old cartoons. But when I meditated this morning , I could feel a smile through most of my chakras. It was like my whole body was smiling. I tried to feel it and be present with it the way I do the harder or heavier emotions. I really needed a day like today. A day where I can feel like some of the hard work I've been putting in is paying off. So I guess what I felt today was hopeful <3 I think there are many reasons. The first of which is that this song has gotten the most early commitments by playlists that I've ever gotten before a song has come out. We got nearly 25 playlists to commit to adding the song before release day. That alone made me feel so hopeful for this release. It really felt like a morale boost. It also makes me feel hopeful that with all this early activity, we'll get a Spotify score high enough to get some algorithmic love, like getting pushed out on Release Radar and Discover Weekly. I've never had a song really hit Discover Weekly hard yet and I really hope this is the song that can change that. Those algorithmic playlists can help so much. Another thing that stands out to me is that I had this dream last night. I don't remember a lot of it, but I do remember something like I was traveling and while traveling I had to prep for a big thunderstorm. I remember seeing it, but then I also somehow remember that it didn't come or I wasn't there to experience it. It's kinda fuzzy. I looked up what thunderstorms in dreams mean and it wasn't great, but then I realized that I didn't experience the thunderstorm. I think it represented all the heaviness and anxiety I've been feeling and how I've been scared my life is falling apart. I think it represented the hopelessness I've been feeling. But even though I saw the thunderstorm, it somehow never came. It didn't end up affecting me. So no matter how real everything has been feeling, and all the fear, it's like it's all an illusion. It's not a real threat. And I woke up to such a wonderful day full of hope. I felt kinder and warmer. More patient. More gentle. And the passage I read in A Course in Miracles today was all about forgiveness, which really resonnated with me and amplified the bouyant feeling today. This release also felt different because it was also really fun to collaborate with Green Ring. I've been a fan of his for a minute now and I think he is so talented. He paints these really beautiful soundscapes that bridge chill organic sounds with magical electronic sci-fi worlds. It's like he breathes life into electronic sounds, like they are alive and have a soul. He also has this wonderful sense of melody that hints at pop. I knew I wanted to do a remix for Half Life and I was so excited when he said yes. I've also been doing a lot of producing and working alone these days, so it felt really refreshing to have a partner with this release.
So all that being said, if you want to hear the Half Life remix, you can here: 🪐 LISTEN HERE 🪐
And if you've made it this far, thank you. Sending you lots of love. May you have and feel hope. xo,Rosalie